Radio Abel Broadcast 1 [Warning bandwidth intensive]

Good day and welcome to Radio Abel. I'm Eugene...

And I'm Jack, and we're glad you're able to tune in today, don't forget we're always here for you

Yes well... if you're listening it means you've managed to survive another night, with our help of course. Today we want to talk about the basics, especially for those who may be just tuning in, or even just deciding to travel, for any reason.

Don't forget - the gates of Abel are always open, as long as its not night, and as long as we're not currently fending off zombie hoardes.

Now as Jack has already touched on, nights are not a safe time to travel. During night time zombies are more active, and we don't advise trying to run from zombies in the night - its too easy to trip

Never a good idea, say Eugene isn't that how you came to lose your leg?

Jack!! Not on air! We'll discuss this later. To all of you out there please enjoy this great track from the past.

Yep such a c---

Anyways where were we. We do hope you enjoyed that track. Ah yes, surviving nights with zombies and all other manners of nasties around

You mean like that crocodile who got your leg? Say its a good job you don't wear a watch on your leg it'd be like Peter Pan! -sound of snickering-

Remember what that Major said about the only way we allowed to broadcast?
Please ignore my immature buddy here. Should night be falling the safest thing to do is to find somewhere with only one way of getting in, or a bottleneck, get off the immediate ground and hole up and just hope and pray. Don't worry, we'll be praying for you as well, and hopefully you'll get to tune into us after the other side.

In other words find a place you can defend easily, and hope like hell you're still alive and unbitten in the morning. With that thought in mind have another track

Such a classic track. By the way for anyone travelling near zoos - we do not recommend them as hiding places. For starters there's possibly lions roaming, and also... you do not want to be faced with reanimated carnivorous animals.

Also please remember to be very very careful should you meet a traveller on the road with a cough. Oh yes it might seem harmless enough but we'll repeat the old adage. "First a cough, then a rattle, then a moan, that's how you know the dead are walking," its been proven true often enough, so once more please be careful. We're sure you don't want your travel companion going grey on you as if they do well... we're not much help. Sorry.

On that depressing note, here's a more upbeat track that'll hopefully cheer you up.

Another safety announcement? You all, all you amazing wonderful listeners. You just lost the game.
You weren't playing? Well let me explain. You cannot think of The Game. If you think of The Game you lose The Game. If you lose The Game you must announce it by stating that you've just lost The Game. Now back to our normal schedule of great entertainment!

Jack! What are you laughing about? Sorry to all our loyal listeners at whatever that buffoon decided to share. So we've got one more possibly useful snippet of information, courtesy of our runners. If you're running from zombies in a heavily forested area try and weave your path, if you can break their sight and hold it long enough - especially in the day - you'll eventually lose them off the trail.

Fog banks are also useful if risky. Did you hear about what happened to runner 9? Ran into a fog bank, straight into a hoarde of zombies, we had to put them down before they turned grey fully as they tried to return to Abel. Tragic.

Well maybe some weathers a good idea then, if only to help our own runners. But first? Another great track, this one by P!nk!

I wonder what it would have been like to you know go to one of her gigs, or even see a music video? I heard she was quite a looker.... oh sorry, I didn't realise we were live.

So, if you're still here - and we hope you are, we're assuming you're wanting some weather. We'll admit we can't be precise - you know technology and all that, however as spring comes you can expect showers, cloud, hopefully some nice warm sunny days and there is a fog risk so please be careful. Remember that fog isn't the only hazard. Just after rain not only are there puddles which can make noise that could attract zombies, soil can also become slippery, or even very clingy

Not very suitable for running away from ravenous hoardes. Neither are belts not fastened up properly.

Yes...well. I learnt my lesson

You mean you haven't felt the need to adjust your ... crutch... recently in the quad

JACK!